


Not Quite Aliens

by LovelyandSad



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-02-13 09:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyandSad/pseuds/LovelyandSad
Summary: After crash landing on Earth and meeting the Avengers, the members of team Voltron have to figure out how to find their Earth.





	1. Crash Course

**Author's Note:**

> So! This is all my personal headcanons and crack.  
> To list them in the shortest way:  
> Pidge is a trans girl with a very filthy mouth  
> No one is straight  
> Keith can totally shift  
> Hunk is a good diplomat, but Lance is better  
> And the team is slightly catatonic when I'm too tired to write

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited some things on 08/7, so. Just some touches that’s i think make it look better. Let me know what you think!

When the giant man landed in the middle of the Colorado desert, the last thing the Avengers expected was for said man to fall apart. They watched as five very large and mechanical looking lions lay in a pile.

“The scans indicate unconscious life forms inside the machines, sir.” Jarvis reported to Tony, who hovered in the sky near the green lion.

Tony repeated this back to the team before floating down to land on the green lion. He watched as each member took their own lion, waiting for Steve - who stood on the yellow lion - to give the entry order. 

“Try to find an opening that will allow entry. We can capture these aliens before they wake up.” Steve ordered, already moving to do the same.

The team searched and while they found a few places that could work as doors, nothing opened for them. Even Hulk trying to rip open one of the machines’ apparent cargo hold resulted in a simple denting that seemed to fix itself shortly after.

Everyone jumped back when the mouths of the yellow and blue lion opened. They watched as two people stumbled out. Both wore identical helmet and suit uniforms, but with colors that corresponded to their respective lion’s.

“State your name and purpose.” Steve stepped forward, shield held at the ready.

The yellow one yelped. A startling sound for someone that could easily match Steve in height and with a similar arm size as well. The blue one reacted quickly, grabbing an odd looking gun from somewhere and jumping in front of the yellow one.

“Same to you!” the blue pilot called, voice sounding surprisingly young. “Are you Galra or hunters after the reward?!”

Everyone who had previously settled into defensive positions jumped back as a creature landed only a few feet in front of Steve. The nearly seven foot tall alien had purple fur and large ears with a long tail lashing behind it. The part everyone focused on was the sword the alien held toward Steve with an easiness that spoke of experience.

“Wait! Guys, wait!” the yellow one called, taking off his helmet. “What if they’re friends?”

Everyone - except maybe Natasha, but what could phase the Black Widow - blinked at the young but scarred face that was hidden under the helmet. Tony took a moment to study the other two and noticed signs of youth in them as well. Obviously not too young, but maybe in their late teens?

“Remember Rolo and Nyma?” the blue kid shot back, double pistols still at the ready.

“Yes, I do. And I never trusted them. But I trust most of these guys.” the yellow teen walked passed the blue one and stopped by the one wearing a robe. “Keith. Tuck the fur away man. Not necessary.”

Tony raised an eyebrow at the near pout the alien, Keith, sent to the yellow one before something started to happen. It started with Keith shrinking to about under six foot, if Tony had to guess. Then, the ears and tail seemed to disappear. It ended with a perfectly normal teen standing in front of them.

Tony would almost believe it too. Except the purple eyes and fangs clearly shown by a snarl give hints as to the truth.

“Please, Lance.”

The blue teen, Lance, huffed before letting go off the pistols. Tony watched in fascination as they seemed to shimmer out of existence. The law of conservation of matter meant they had to go somewhere. Unless there was nothing there in the first place, Tony acknowledged. Illusions rarely got passed Tony’s filters, but it was still a possibility.

Lance stepped to the side and started to walk for the green lion. Clint moved to stop him, but Steve held his arm out.

“I’m Captain America and these are my teammates. We’re known as the Avengers and we protect Earth.” Steve left the ‘from people like you’ silent.

Hunk nodded. Tilting his head to the side, the large teen (man?) shifted into a more comfortable stance.

“I’m Hunk. This is Keith,” he pointed at the teen still holding the sword, “and Lance is just checking on our other teammates. You said we’re on Earth, right?”

“Yes. Colorado, America. If you want the specifics.” Steve took a moment to thank all deities listening - hopefully even Thor - that the team had been remaining silent up to that point. “Can you tell me more about what you’re doing here?”

Before anyone could reply, Lance returned with an even smaller child held in his arms. Hunk held out his arms and Lance handed the child over. Hunk set to checking on them before shrugging.

“Give it a bit and then we can freak out.” Lance suggested. “Keith, help me with Shiro. I’ll need your manly arms to carry such a fine piece of ass.”

Keith stepped back and put away his sword. Despite the look of disgust on his face, he followed the other teen.

“Once they get Shiro, our leader, he can explain more to you.” Hunk explained and sat down. “Does anyone have smelling salts?”

Tony decided to leave that where it was and followed the other ones. Flying alongside them, he lazily listened to their conversation.

“Must you refer to Shiro like that?” Keith hissed. “He is nine years older than you!”

“And absolutely-,” Lance was cut off by Keith’s hand slapping into place over his mouth. It was quickly withdrawn and Tony caught a hint of tongue before Lance started spitting.

“If the word ‘Daddy’ is mentioned even once today, I will cut your tongue out. Though that might be a mercy, considering I haven’t washed my gloves in days.”

Tony let himself be impressed at the obviously well used threat and what it was for. Maybe these teens could provide some amusement to the very boring Avengers life he has adopted lately.

The black lion with what looked like wings opened its mouth to allow the three of them access. A large man with obvious Asian heritage lay on the floor. Tony held back, allowing Keith to rush for the man.

“Shiro?” Keith asked, kneeling a bit away.

Tony wondered why for a moment, but then the man stood up swiftly. Tony observed the defensive stance and trapped animal way Shiro studied his suit. Keith stepped into Shiro’s line of vision and Tony watched as he relaxed at the sight.

“Keith.” Shiro acknowledged before turning to Tony. “Making friends, I see.”

Keith shrugged. Lance rolled his eyes and started pushing Tony out of the lion. Tony allowed it, taking his time to study the controls. Similar to Earth control board, but much more physically involved. Was that a key hole? Except, what key was bigger than a man’a fist?

“Let’s go people. I haven’t showered in quintants and I think it shows.”

Tony failed to notice any sort of smell, but could guess that quintant could be a way of saying days. However, Keith gave a quick sniff and then nearly gagged.

“Yeah.” he agreed in a strained voice.

Tony nearly laughed, but the serious look on Shiro’s face sobered him up. The man gave Tony shivers up his spine and not in a fun way. I’m the months after Afghanistan, he spent a lot of time around ex-soldiers that were still fighting. Shiro gave off a vibe that mixed both the men who’d kept him and the men who helped him afterward. Tony sent Jarvis a silent message to keep an eye on this Shiro man. None are more dangerous than those desperate to never see rock bottom again. For those types of men will throw themselves six feet below rock bottom just to never be stagnant at that specific level of their life. 

They reached the others quickly and Tony ignored Steve’s look of disapproval and concern. Tony’s thoughts are his own, no matter how Steve often knew them. Steve could bitch all he wanted, but someone needed to make sure they were only grabbing their teammate and not some sort of super alien weapon.

The Western style stand-off resumed even as the last member of the mostly teen group woke up.

“What the fuck happened in that shit storm?” an androgynous and young voice piped up, causing the aliens to sigh.


	2. Voting!!

Okay! To all my lovely people out there! There are two ways I can take this story! Door One!

One, maybe two, more chapters of absolute crack.

Five or more chapters of the two teams fighting each other because Shield gets involved and tries to capture/experiment on the team! 

*cough* Keith *cough*

So! Put your votes in! As in. Tell me in the comments or send me an ask at Lovelyandsad on Tumblr with your vote. I'll decide which to put more focus on at the end of next week. The tenth, maybe. I have something planned for V-Day, so.


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